When Lightning Strikes
by VforVendetta34
Summary: As Tsukasa and his friend gather up to defeat a dungeon together, something goes terribly wrong as everyone switches bodies and are forced to deal with each other's problems. Lightning can't be good.


**When Lightning Strikes**

**_Chapter I_** : _Lightning Swaps_

Disclaimer: I do not own .hack, fear me.

A/N: Couplings, of course there are. Spoilers, of course there are. Humour? Of course there is!

Oh important, Maha in here, is…… a……. GIRL…… Well I chose that gender because Tsukasa kept on calling him/her his mother! And uh, yes she knows how to talk, only Tsukasa could hear her though.

* * *

.

Throughout The World, loud thunder boomed overheard as lightning split the skies apart. There was something definitely wrong with The World at the moment where Tokyo seemed to be suffering of a severe thunderstorm as well.

In the game, everything seemed to be deserted yet one group still remained.

"You know, I think we should log off……" Mimiru pointed upwards as another lightning streak flashed across the sky.

"That would be smart to do, everyone, you should all save your games and log off," Bear nodded towards his entire party. They all had just planned to go defeat some dungeon all together as it became a usual ritual on Fridays.

"Awww, but what's the danger of these little wittle lights? Huh?" Sora pouted yet knew what was best and what the danger could consist of.

The game's net-skies turned red and menacingly stared back at the players.

"Alright, then I guess we should put this off until tomorrow if the weather gets any better," The Red Lightning known as Crim searched through his menu for the saving option as so mimicked the others.

While they proceeded in saving... a particularly black cloud roamed by.

"Watch out!" a bolt of lightning suddenly rained down upon them but before it reached the grounds BT had thrown her staff in the air. Aiming for the highest metallic object, it struck the staff with a strong force sending everyone a couple of paces back.

Coughing out of shock from the incident, Subaru could feel electric pulses go through her body. She watched everyone cry out in pain as well as even more lightning rained down upon the group, each striking different individuals seemingly purposely.

There, in mid-air was BT's staff presumably trying to absorb the electric waves yet it proved to be a much more challenging task. Data started to evaporate as for odd writing flew in ever direction.

Maha teleported there in alarm, curious to what was happening then suddenly got shocked as well by a thunder bolt.

The magical staff finally dropped to the ground, the fabric tied to it was burnt and worn out as the orb had turned yellow.

Silence reigned over the whole World………… everyone lay unconscius both mentally and physically back in the real world.

* * *

.

"nn-ugh" she rubbed her head, taking off the monitor from her eyes, "Oh great……. It's broken!" Mimiru complained as she rubbed her temples, "There goes another chunk of my allowance……"

Getting up to go get a glass of water and aspirin, she noticed something very…… out of place. Or maybe she was out of place, Mimiru didn't recognize any of these furniture placements nor photos on the wall.

Thunder and lightning crackled in the sky above Tokyo continuously illuminating bits of the surroundings in flashes. Not only was the place unfirmiliar, but she felt tall somehow……

"This isn't right…….." she muttered to herself, running her fingers through her long hair, "I don't have long hair! And, and, how did-"

The so-called-teenager ran to the nearest mirror. Mimiru gawked and dropped the monitor she was holding.

"Kazuya," was the only word she could utter through her mouth.

A beeping noise suddenly rang through the unfirmiliar room. Mimiru twitched as her eyes finally left the image from the mirror and proceeded in finding that device. Soon as the beeps grew louder, the hyperventilating female took the phone in her trembling hand and pressed the "open" button.

"H-hello?" her voice shook.

"Kazuya? That you? You seem a bit ill, you okay?" a cool male voice spoke from the other side.

"Yeah, I'm…… err…… very fine…………."

Silence……

"Who are you again?"

"Eh, Kaz, it's Kakoshi, are you sure you're okay? You usually talk to me with a more……. Well, annoyed tone. Anyway, I'll see if you're okay at the studio, we're doing another shoot at three this afternoon," he spoke casually making Mimiru feel even more stressed out.

"What! I mean…… uh…… I feel disoriented today…… can't we put this to another day?"

"Nope. Anyways, I hope you remember where the studio is with that disorientation of yours. Really, I still can't believe you're living in a small apartment when you can afford a big house. Geez, are you that lonely? I can make you meet other men you know."

The teenager started to realize why this Kazuya person would talk to him in an annoyed sort of way. He seriously couldn't respect other people's tastes she guessed.

"Look Kako- whatever. You should stick to your own business okay!"

"Ah, now here's the real you I know. Uh, ah, my girlfriend's here, ciao," there was a click and then the usual beeping of the phone when one line remained too long on the phone. The heavyblade sighed and slowly put the device back down. She didn't know where the studio was! And why did she even bother going when a bigger problem remained?

* * *

. 

"I……. I……. Nightmare…… has to be……… no………"

**_Ding dong_**

"……………………."

The tall figure went to go open the door awkwardly then staring dumbfoundly at the woman in front of the doorway. Her radiantly blond hair seemed to glow too much as her shiny white teeth seemed a bit too big for her mouth…… that mouth of hers itself seemed too big for her face.

"Honey! I missed you!" A woman jumped up and down and hugged the shocked the so-called-male nearly tackling her down and blinding her with the shiny hair.

"…………………… do I know you?" her voice seemed to have processed by a machine shoving in bread into her throat for her voice seemed too masculine for her own good.

"Oh very funny. I hope you haven't played The World too much I think it's messing up your brain. What was your name again? Crim, yeah, what a weird name. Couldn't you have named it after me? Your girlfriend Ishara?" The female's sweet voice could've broke the dumbfounded individual into a fit of laughter……. But right now she didn't feel like laughing, instead she wanted to scream her lungs out and jump out the window hoping there would be sharp, pricky and shiny stuff at the bottom.

"I'm not Crim! I'm BT or Kazuya, whatever! Who are you! What am I doing here! What's happening!" BT was already tugging on the very short, male hair on her head at the moment and looking insane towards the other individual, nonetheless ignoring of any emotions the other female might've had.

"BT? What kind of name is that? Are you perchance seeing someone else? Awww, c'mon, I think this work is going to your head…… come, I'll lie down beside you in bed, how's that? It's pretty cold outside, I'm sure you'd like the extra heat now wouldn't you?" Ishira purred softly, resting her head on BT's broad back.

The so called female-wavemaster froze. Crim had a girlfriend? Why didn't he tell her instead of telling her off the rough way? She would have to kill him later but now she had to deal with his little love……….. beds, body warmth and other stuff in a normal love relationship was OUT of the question. On top of that, she always knew she was straight, VERY straight.

"I-I-I'm f-fine……. I err…… Am…… very tired…….. uh no, I mean, uhm, not tired enough to go to bed... and I'm too warm already……"

That didn't go well, no it didn't. Ishara wrapped her arms around the stressing out tall figure and asked sadly, "Awww but Kereisho, I didn't come here to just leave all of the sudden. C'mon, how about I cuddle on your chest while we watch some TV?"her persistant little face with huge eyes that seemed to take up half her face became teary with salty tears. The Nile was about to be reborn in another country with a lot of technology there for it to flood over and destroy.

"But, I feel sick at the moment!" It was true, she felt like throwing up from all the stress, shock and weird male feelings.

"Oh, then it's settled, I'm staying over for the weekend to take care of you! Let's start by tucking you into bed! Come on now dear……." Ishara, Crim's girlfriend took BT by the arm and dragged her into the room she previously just resided in.

The doors clicked.

Being no longer herself, BT tried to escape, yet that woman's nails were too sharp.

That girlfriend of his looked eerie, scary and not to mention disturbing.

This was going to be a very looooong day……

* * *

. 

"Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit more hyper today and on top of that, it's rainy…… Have you been playing too much on your Mimiru file dear?" A motherly voice rang through his ears as he twitched and looked frantically around. The woman's backhand felt his forehead as he quickly brushed off her fingers still looking wildly around. This was certainly not his room, nor his house, nor his neighborhood.

"……………………… Mimiru? I'm not Mimiru, I'm Sora……" he muttered absent mindly looking for a nearby mirror. This body didn't feel right.

"Ah you're so rude sometimes. Anyways hurry and get dressed we're visiting grand ma."

"Why is my voice so squeaky? Oh no, that's right, it was always squeaky, but why is it female squeaky?" He searched under the bed and found it.

And then that's when the mirror shattered into a million pieces.

"Is this puberty!"

Sora never knew that puberty consisted of growing taller, switching homes, having bouncy hair, looking like a girl, like, seriously looking like a girl, and worst of all, being the girl he always bothered.

* * *

. 

"I can walk again! …………… In a little boy's body………… with a lot of energy……… I have a feeling this can't be good……"

In the contrary, it was………

Okay nevermind, it wasn't.

"Oh my little Sora! I love calling you that. You found a great name for that little game of yours. Oh yes, Aunty Lovely is coming for a visit!"

Very, very bad.

Subaru didn't know what to do. She looked at herself once more in the mirror. The body felt so tiny, she felt so tiny, not to mention hyper, very hyper. Sora in real life had light brown hair, somewhat long in a way, wonderfully brilliant hazel eyes and a nice smirk. He probably practiced on that smirk.

"Uhm….. coming!" She didn't know what to do at the moment. The visor that led to the reality of The World was broken, and she didn't know any of her friend in the real world……. Unless……. 'Aw c'mon Subaru…… can't you remember Crim's phone number?' she thought and knew it was in the depths of her memory and on the tip of her tongue, yet it didn't resurface, 'I guess I'll remember sometime soon……"

Two minutes later afte watching a random bird flying into her window.

'Oh ya look at that. I feel like someone just popped the numbers in my head which I am totally not suspicious of it as being the author of this fanfic…… oh well,' the young teen shrugged and picked up a nearby phone, composing the numbers perfectly.

* * *

. 

_**Dring dring!**_

**_Dring dring!_**

"My shirt stays ON!"

"It does NOT!"

"YES IT DOES!"

"You're starting to sound like a girl…… Us girls fight this way……. Well not really but kinda."

"Do you have a problem with that!"

**_Dring dring!_** Ringing interrupted the debate fortunately for BT.

"Phone!" She almost cried of relief as she stormed out of the room a bit dizzily grabbing the receiver up, "Hello! You need to talk to me for a very long time."

"Crim? Is that you? You sound…… flustered. Did something happen?" Subaru raised an eyebrow at his tipsy voice, "It's Subaru, something really weird happened and you're the only one I can contact."

"Subaru! Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to hear from someone! Wait…… you don't sound…… ……"

"Oh Kereisho deeeaaar! Hang up fast so I can huggle you!" Ishara could be heard in the backround.

BT cringed, "Subaru, listen. I'm not Crim, It's BT. I have no idea what happened but I'm in Crim's body. His girlfriend which I had no idea he had and which I will kill him for it later is torturing me. We need to find out what's going on NOW!" she tried to speak over the constant lovey-dovey comments from Crim's girlfriend who became more threatning-like by the word.

"BT? I guess I'm not the only one…… I'm in Sora's body at the moment and I don't think I'll be much help today. Sora's aunt is coming and her name's Lovely. Maybe she's not all that bad……"

"To tell you the truth I'd be much happier with a fat aunt who like to huggle kids and who I suspect become pedophiles than a raging girlfriend," BT announced proudly as she received a whack over the head.

"What was that! Hey who are you talking to? Are you cheating on me!" she asked hotly, trying to get the phone out of the other female's hand in hopes of hanging up on Subaru.

The girl on the other line waited patiently but the more she waited the more she wanted to break something and jump off a building. How much sugar did Sora consume per day?

"Ah! Get off of me! No ah!"

Ishara had tackled BT down and the phone came crashing down on the floor smashing to bits.

"Uh-oh…… Well looks like you're getting a new phone, but now that we're on the floor……"

"Please don't……"

* * *

. 

"Oof!"

Thud.

Crash, click, click…

Bzzzzzzzzz…….

BT had hung up! Or more like dropped the phone in the process of being tackled down, well, to Subaru anyway. That thought had clicked in her head even before the crash part. There was something suspiscious about her getting all those foresights... And another bird had come crashing into her window then falling down in her lawn.

"Oh _SoOoOoraaa _dear! Aunt _Lovely_'s here!"

"Awww **SORA**! What a **CUTE NAME**! C'mere and give me a **GREAT BIG **hug so I can squish you to me forever!"

"Oh god."

Subaru could definitely predict what would happen with her miniscule body without the help of a blind bird.

* * *

. 

Crim didn't feel good. In fact, he felt like he was zapped by a million volts then left there to rot. Beside him was a strange staff, the one he used to see Tsukasa carry around him everywhere and occasionaly use in battle.

"Where am I?"

It was like Tsukasa said that beside him, yet the only problem was that he was the one who said the exact same words at the same time.

"Tsukasa? Where are you?" he shouted out again, in hopes of finding that wavemaster somewhere nearby stuck like him. Crim looked around in confusion and found no trace of anyone whatsoever. Getting up to search more thouroughly he noticed he felt short…… with longer hair…… a hat……. And a robe.

"Wait what!" he stared at his gloved hand and grabbing his robes to survey the material it was made from. He was definitely in The World judging by the scenery but…… he could also feel everything.

* * *

.

"Mmmmm…… mreow……. Eh?" Maha tried to move her ears but there were none. She then surveyed her paw but instead of those stubby and soft fingers, thin and pale ones replaced them. Maha's eyes widened as she tried to leap back, but she now noticed she couldn't move her legs.

The wheelchair swung backwards sending her crashing into the nearby wall, "Ah! Wha-what's happening!"

The monitor screen in front of her clearly stated, 'Subaru is logged off,' as Maha started in shock at the bold prints.

* * *

.

"Oh no, why do I have cat ears? Why do I look like Maha? And why do I feel like Maha! Even if Maha's cool…… I feel like scratching the back of my ears with my hind legs…… This isn't right………" Tsukasa observed his fuzzy paws and scratched himself behind the ear.

"Maha, why do you look confused?" Morganna's soft voice boomed overhead as Tsukasa leaped back in fear.

"AH! Don't touch me!"

"………….. Maha are you alright? I don't have hands remember? Unless imagination counts," the imaginary individual raised her imaginary brow at the cat.

"Uh……. Right…….."

"How about I make an imaginary vet for you? Ah the fun…… how about……. SKEITH! C'mere!"

O-o;

"I've always wanted an imaginary pet... Even if I am imaginary myself, teehee!" Well Morganna was just plain disturbing at the moment.

* * *

. 

Bear looked around his room. He had one of those major headaches exactly like once he got zapped by an unseen force known as lightning.

Somehow he knew it was lightning.

And somehow he just received a thought that told him everyone was not alright like an email.

And a bird had just bashed itself on his window nearly breaking it into his face.

And somehow the phone was beside him when he knew he plugged it somewhere else……

Heck of a nightmare.

* * *

. 

A/N: So what's happening? Here's the chart totally un-organised. We all love me yes I know :P

Mimiru is BT

BT is Crim

Sora is Mimiru

Subaru is Sora

Crim is Tsukasa

Maha is Subaru

Tsukasa is Maha

Bear is …………. Bear XD Lucky him.

NOW REVIEW! D: For all of you that didn't know, BT's a model o-o or so I've read on a popular site……


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